The love that twins experience together is like a wild animal.
It cannot be trapped. It cannot be contained. It cannot be tamed. Instead, it burns with an insatiable intensity that is both exhilarating and terrifying. The love between the twins is like a sacred fire: it reduces you to ashes, but at the same time transforms you into a new creature, like the phoenix rising from the dust.
Although each twin flame relationship is unique and cannot be simplified, there is a common pattern that can generally be seen in these unions. As someone who has gone through a twin flame union, I know how overwhelming (and even scary) the experience can be. I wish I had read an article about the common signs of twin flames when I was going through such a confusing experience. But at the time I knew nothing about twin flames and their significance. So I would like to provide you with what I was missing: a general map to help you orient yourself and determine exactly where you are.
8 main stages of the twin flame
Twin flames are considered to be beings that help our souls find fulfillment. It was the Greek philosopher Plato who first put forward the idea of “souls divided in two” who eternally struggle to find their “other half”. Today, we still have that idea of “finding our other half,” but unfortunately, we think we absolutely must find someone else to be complete. Keep in mind that, although twin flames help us experience unconditional love and grow meaningfully as people, not all of us find our twin flame nor do we need a twin flame to feel complete. Please read the article “7 Common Myths That Adorn Twin Flame Relationships” to learn more.
Remember also that the degree of harmony in a twin flame relationship depends on your level of spiritual maturity. For example, two old souls will find it much easier to “hold things together” than two young souls. You can read more about Soul Age.
So, with this in mind, name the eight major stages of twin flame development that you are likely to experience in your relationship.
The first step is the search for the “chosen one”.
In this preliminary phase, you have been dreaming all your life of the “chosen one” who does not yet exist in your life. You have the strange feeling that the right person for you is “out there,” but you don’t know where or when he or she will appear in your life. Although you long for your twin flame, you have the feeling that he or she will appear in your life at some point.
This step also sometimes involves the “preparation” for the appearance of the twin flame on a subconscious level. In my case, I had to learn to love myself before meeting my own. For others, this preparation stage involves the development of self-knowledge, discovery and understanding.
Step 2 is a look at the “chosen one”.
At some point, you may catch a glimpse of your twin flame. Whether it’s a sign in a dream or a real-life encounter, you suddenly sense your loved one. The result is profound. Astonishment, joy, fear and elation are quickly replaced. For those who are cautious, there remains a feeling of intense curiosity and a desire to know the person better. You don’t know exactly what it is, but this person is special. Like me, you may feel that this person is going to play a very important role in your life, even before you really know him or her.
The third stage is falling in love.
When you fall in love with this person, you will fall very, very hard. You will fall more in love than you have ever fallen in love with anyone, and it will take your breath away. The more you get to know your twin flame, the more you will fall in love with it. As a result, you may find it difficult to stand on your own two feet. You may feel confused, smitten and “off your game.” You may even try to resist the attraction, but eventually you will accept the reality that you are deeply and madly in love.
Stage 4 – the fairy-tale relationship
When you both admit your feelings and enter into a relationship, life will be like a fairy tale. Your relationship with them will be perfect in every way. You will feel that your twin flame fulfills all your needs and everything you have ever wanted. This taste of “heaven” is what a mature twin flame relationship is all about after the following stages of turmoil.
Fifth step: outer confusion and inner purification
It is at this stage that trouble comes to Paradise. When the ecstasy of the first meeting has passed, the ego begins to flare up. Suddenly, different opinions, tastes and personalities surface, and old wounds come to light. Although our twin flames share and reflect our deepest needs, desires and dreams, they also often reflect our darker sides. For example, if you are an emotionally depressed person, your twin flame is likely to be emotionally explosive. If you tend to be arrogant, your twin flame will probably be insecure and quiet. Thus, our twin flames challenge us by feeding our insecurities. This can be uncomfortable, destructive and very painful.
Although all the fights and arguments at this stage may seem disastrous, the truth is that they are necessary for our growth. Without being provoked, without seeing ourselves as we really are, we live in an illusion and cannot grow spiritually. But it is difficult to realize this when we experience such turbulent events in our relationships.
Level 6 – Runner and stalker
When tension mounts, one partner (and sometimes both) withdraws emotionally or physically and “runs away,” while the other pursues in a cat-and-mouse game. Sometimes, this involves emotional withdrawal and silent treatment. In other cases, it leads to physical separation and, in extreme cases, permanent dissolution of the relationship. At this point, twin flames are tested by fire. While some relationships persist and grow stronger, others crumble. As I said at the beginning, it all depends on the spiritual maturity of both partners. Sometimes one partner leaves for many years and then starts the cycle again. The stalker, on the other hand, is usually the more mentally and emotionally mature of the two partners, and tries to make amends.
Step 7 – Renunciation and dissolution of the marriage
When the shadows of your relationship are exposed, you may go through a period of abandonment. After so much pain, suffering and provocation, you both begin to open up your wounds and insecurities. At this point, there is usually a dissolution of the ego and an expansion of the soul. As the ego relaxes, powerful lessons are learned about the nature of the self and the nature of the “other.” As they learn to overcome their differences, the maturity of their relationship deepens and strengthens.
You typically go through steps six and seven several times during the relationship.
Eighth stage – Unit
When the problems in your relationship become more solvable, you enter a phase of reunion with your soul. The eighth stage is usually reached when you both find a common goal, passion or cause that brings you a sense of mutual satisfaction. As the ego relaxes, virtues such as forgiveness, understanding, empathy and patience are learned. The more you both strive to solve every problem that arises, the more you will experience a sense of “oneness” or the death of the ego.